The Notion. .

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That notion you had when you first saw me… I could see it in your eyes, your expectation of me. I see it a lot. You can never be too ready for what I have to offer, so I ease you in gradually if you’re worth it…  You think I’m cute?, I think I’m not…
You think I’m Okay,  I Think I’m Not…

Now you’re freaked out. Why?.  You say you love me,  I don’t see how. Have you seen me want to die?.  No?.  Then please,  shut that pretty face. 

Now you’re freaked out,  why?.  You don’t have to tell me,  I know you’re a lie.  Go find someone who can fall for your disguise. Or better off,  kick rocks. I broke your heart before you found mine.

Defensive. I’m real defensive. You think I’m deranged?. Nah,  I couldn’t be more sane. Or maybe that’s what a deranged person would say…  But isn’t that what a sane person would say?.

I watched you as you spoke to me. You thought I was interested in your shallow gist. Don’t worry,  I’m just staying polite.  But watching out for what you truly hide…

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I can see it,  you’re shy of me. That’s why you try to change how you speak.  And talk about things that are barely real.  Like obvious things people like to hear.  You think I’m an average girl?.  You never jam,  I’m way way more than a C… than an A. Creep me out. I dare you to say who you truly are and evict this, Fakeness!… Looking uptight,  like you don’t wear boxers?.  Looking uptight like you don’t use urinals?.

Real. Not stupid. Real. We spoke, and you did it all.  You thought I was quiet but I was feeling you out.  See,  I asked you how you’re doing,  you didn’t ask me back.  This way I could tell what kind of person you are.

You’re good looking,  I give you that.  You can call me shallow,  Cause I like that.  But you’ll probably change your mind when you hear this,  your prettiness won’t Impress me.  I can only offer you my admiration towards the art you physically are.  Too bad it’s just an empty art. 

I know some of you are impressed by this… But I may not be as cool as you think.  I’m just a person,  working towards a better me. So yea,  I’m done writing this.

Friday…
13:02…
I’m Jewel. .

Jewel. .

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